I Love You, Dad
Posted by
Wayne Yip
, Sunday, August 28, 2011 at 8:16 PM, in
When was the last time we told each other that we cared for each other? The last time that we even said, "I love you"? The last time we hugged? The last time you kissed me to sleep? It's been a while since I last felt that way. Whenever I feel alone, your loving arms would sweep me off my feet in a matter of seconds. Now these times are nothing but another distance memory. Frankly, I know that having a teenager around the house is enough to raise hell in your life. I wonder why... Do we live in separate worlds? Or even... shared a single thought? I rarely see a time where the both of us smiled at each other or come to agreement with something. Instead, we fought over and over again. When you're mad, you would resort to my little brother for comfort or confine your anger into that dying heart of yours. The more we fight, the weaker it becomes and sooner or later, I'll lose you. All you wanted was the best for me but you never once ask what I wanted to be. Even if I did, you would criticize my ambitions. From once what we thought a relationship that would blossom till the end, could slowly wither until it disappears.
Papa,
I wish I could have made you proud in many ways but sadly, I'm not cut out to be anything you'd wish for. To my eyes and ears, your angers are worth nothing. To yours, it was love... Papa, I'm no perfect son nor the one you've always dream of having but I can be the best you can ever have. Mistakes I've made in the past you'll never forgive me for, all the curses you've thrown at me, I took them in but never threw back. 16 years and you've persevered. It's all too difficult for me to apologize now. You may think that I'm just trying to keep my pride and walk on over it. The truth is that the guilt is too much for me to handle. I've tried. I've given my best. And here I am on my blog, hoping that you'll read this and truly understand what I feel. With this, I would like to say:
"SORRY, DAD"